I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
