I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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