Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
did you just send me my own nude
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
