No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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