Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
birth control should be required to get into college
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
