What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
