You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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