I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
