the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
