It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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