? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize