never play flip cup with pint glasses
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
