Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
