The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
