so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
