I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i think i just lost a toe
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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