I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just puked most of my soul out..
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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