I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
