my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
