your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
