you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
A+ Viking dick
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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