I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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