He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
