You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
