I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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