You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
