this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
