Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
