In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
