If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
