Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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