I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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