Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
