I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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