Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
