i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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