her vagina looked like bernie madoff
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
