you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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