we're blogging at a bar
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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