so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
