i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
