oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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