if i can run in heels then i can drive
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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