Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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