I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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