they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
