I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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