shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
