you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
