Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
