Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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