he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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