All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The adults are the big ones right?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
