I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
