some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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