For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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