You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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