okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
