imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I AM VODKA MAN
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
