you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You need a sexual gate keeper
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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